Where do I begin? Well for the last two months I've had many more downs than ups. I have been pounding hard at work (that seems to always be the only constant), I've been deeply engulfed with taking four classes this semester, I've been to San Diego TWICE for contractural evaluations for work and lastly, and most profound events, have been the death of two of my Sailors.
I don't know how to feel about these deaths. These two women were both outstanding, responsible adults - and mothers.
The first death occurred on 22 April at 4:00 pm (PST) at Stanford University Hospital. She had given birth to a baby girl just five days before her death! She contracted the horrible and devastating MRSA virus and was life-flighted from our base hospital to Stanford University Hospital (3 hours away). She passed away about 20 hours later. She was married and her husband had been stationed at our command a few years ago before he separated from the Navy. Her funeral was this past Thursday in North Carolina.
The second death occurred on 26 April at 5:00 pm (PST) on highway 41 North coming from Paso Robles, CA back home from a weekend visit with her family. She had given birth to a baby girl just 33 days before her death! She, her boyfriend and baby (in back seat) were hit head-on at a HIGH rate of speed by a 19-year old that was driving at excessive speed - this was on a two-lane highway. She died instantly, her boyfriend is on lifesupport at a local hospital and her now 45 day old baby is in critical (but stable) condition at a local children's hospital. The 19 year old boy walked away with minor injuries (don't even get me going on that....)! Yesterday was her funeral in Santa Maria, CA. I attended since it was only 3 hours from the base. I had asked all my Yeoman (our USN job title) if they would like to participate in the full military honors - they all said YES! It was an awesome funeral and graveside full military honors ceremony. My Yeoman were fantastic!! I'm so proud of them. We honored our fallen Shipmate - I know she would have loved to see that. She was respected during her life, and I know my Sailors really believed they needed to do that to help them with closure.
You may be wondering why the second death seems to be a heavier impact. That is because she was a Yeoman, a Sailor we all worked with every single day. My other Sailor, had been at our command for a very short time and she was an Aviation Rating and was on a watchbill that had her working nights - people rarely saw her. That does not lessen the impact of her death on any level. It's just she was not a direct influence on my other Sailors as the other one was.
I mourn for both of these fine, outstanding women. I wonder if they have peace. They both passed in a very horrible way and I just can't seem to get past that. Yesterday's funeral was very surreal to me, but it also was the beginning of helping me put my feelings into perspective.
Unfortunately, I was not able to attend the first funeral because it was held in North Carolina. The command sent a command representative to escort her on the plane and to her resting place. I would have gone with him, but with the second death - I just made the call that I needed to be there for my Yeoman and take care of all the Casualty Assistance for both families. In order to do that, I needed to be at the command. I now know that I made the right decision.
Both of my Sailors have been laid to rest. But the unanswered questions linger. Both families are torn for completely different reasons - but at the heart of both of these deaths is that two babies have lost their mothers. What a devastating tragedy.
With all this in mind - I still have my wife, two "teenage" sons (and we all know how much fun that is.....!), work must go on, and have finals in all classes this next week.
I know I'll get through this - but it certainly is taking its toll.
Please pray for the families of my two Sailors. They will need all the power that God has to get through this.
For all of you on the road: Be safe!
Chat later -
Steve
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3 comments:
I can't imagine what you've been through the past while. I know you've been working hard both at work and at school but to have this happen on top of all of it is so very, very much to bear.
I will pray for the families whose loss has been so great but especially for the children who will never know their mothers.
May God impart a peace upon you and the family's of your fallen sailors that is truly beyond our understanding. God Bless!!
Oh, Steve, you have had a time of it. No wonder you have not been in chat much, I know you are devastated. Both new mothers, that is so sad.
Keep your chin up, there must be a silver lining to this dark cloud.
So sorry for your losses, Penny, TX
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